A faithful reader--a rabbi, in fact--called last night to comment on Wednesday's post that involved the 7 deadly sins.
The rabbi then told me about this 1993 article
by Mary Gordon from the Times. This one's on anger. Her analysis of anger is intriguing, notably this sentence: "To live in anger is to forget that one was ever weak, to believe that what others call weakness is a sham, a feint that one exposes and removes, like the sanitizing immolation of a plague-ridden house."
What a great sentence.
What do you think about anger? A positive trait of expressing anger is that it does get expressed. It's not stuffed or denied. Yet does it scare you, as it does me? (Both in myself and in others, directed at me or those I love.) As Mary Gordon points out, anger can be addictive in its life-giving qualities. It's all-white heat. It reminds us we're alive. But, at what cost? Discuss.
3 comments:
We think anger is healthy -- in moderation. If you don't show a little, then it comes out later as a lot. We know this because we are very keen observers of humans, and we know that's how it works. So we figure it's ok when mom yells at us for not coming in when she calls.
Wise dogs.
Ah, anger. You know, Allison, that I think you need to express it more often. Don't worry, Michael--I don't mean at you. Your gentleness is one of your most appealing traits, Allison, but you take too much on yourself. Kick ass every now and then.
For me, anger is always an issue, too. I may have been born angry. I was certainly born into a family that expressed it openly. We were loudmouths, but we were definitely entertaining.
I learned to control my anger, but it still pops up. If anything, it pops up more since brain surgery. I don't think it's the operation. I think I came out of that experience with less patience with the annoying people of the world, of whom I am no doubt one. (And that was not a plea for contradiction.)
But I have chosen to live my life without anger around me. Being around people who squabble or fight all the time makes me miserable. I think we should use anger when it's necessary but choose peace whenever possible.
My sons can tell you I value and protect peace at home. I knew how much the brain tumor had affected me the day my son, Alan, told me how I had been a few months before the surgery.
"You were ornery," he said.
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