Because our friend Beverley was laid to rest Saturday, saying goodbye is very much on my mind. A wise professor years ago encouraged us to learn to say goodbye, for saying that well helps us--and other people--move on. It takes out the denial element that is such a temptation: "I refuse to say goodbye because I know we will see each other later." (Whether after death or meeting up after a move.)
Saying goodbye, voicing what people mean to us, acknowledges that life will not be the same. Again, this isn't always because someone is dying or has died. It can be that your best friend is moving to China. That your dog's puppies are going to new homes. That your child is changing schools. A ritual such as writing the person a letter (or better yet talking to them in person) helps us in the later, painful days to remember. The writer Art Buchwald (pictured above) penned such a letter, printed in the Washington Post after his death this year. Poignant.
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