Moon over Columbus

From the "we must all learn to laugh at ourselves" category.
As a friend of mine would say at the beginning of a story: "There I was." Sitting in my (Spandex) bike shorts in a rocking chair just before a late afternoon ride. Sitting and standing around me were some friends, as we listened to a local musician sing and play his guitar. I got up to put some things in my bike satchel, and a couple friends said: "Uh, you have a hole in your shorts." Must have poked a hole in them from a nail on the chair.
It was so embarrassing because, you know, this is a public street and also I have some pretty white skin underneath the shorts. So I couldn't hide well.
Then I figured, "Nothing I can do about it here; might as well ride." The good thing about our Riverwalk is the absence of car traffic and therefore fewer eyes. Granted, someone could have spotted the hole as they came up behind me--and I'm sure some did--but there aren't a lot of people around.
On weekdays, my halfway point is usually a Subway sandwich shop about 12 miles south of town. I can get ice and refill water for my bottle from their machine. Today I tried to duck in and out as quickly as possible; but about as soon as I walked outside, a young woman came out and said, "Uh, ma'am?" And I knew exactly what she was going to say. She told me she and her fellow employees were debating whether to tell me. We laughed about it. God knows, I hope I never see these people again.
When I got home, imagine my surprise to find not only a "tiny" hole on one side but a rip on the other. So on behalf of my accident, I apologize to everyone I mooned today.